After reading a list of the last-minute Presidential pardons, I feel compelled:
I hereby pardon all of you, in perpetuity.
Even though most you have probably never done anything in your entire life to warrant such a pardon, you are now absolved for all potential future actions as well. Imagine the freedom!
As Paul "Scarlett O'Hara" Wilmott said to us recently, "Tomorrow ...is another day!." : D
And now I really am going on vacation - trying to decide what to do while there!