July 2nd, 2008, 11:43 pm
I've never had a tapas. But I bet if you emptied all those little plates onto one big tortilla, rolled it up, and stuffed it in your mouth, it would be good.Or how about this: Boil some lasagna noodles, and cover the bottom of a greased hotel pan with a single layer. Dump the contents of all the tapas plates in there. Cover with grated mozzarella, sea salt, and a few shakes of grappa, put another layer of lasagna noodles on top, bake, and serve.Or I bet if you emptied all those plates into a pot of fish stock, boiled it for 15 minutes, and pushed it through a strainer, it would make a nice sauce for sea bass.Or, you could grind whatever is on all those plates into a paste. Stuff it into a sausage skin, roll it in salt, and hang it to dry. Then when it is nice and firm and the skin has gone hard and sour, slice off a few thin slices to top off an interesting pizza.Or, you could just put all those plates on the floor, and let a dog eat it. Then capture his urine, and distill the water out of it. Stick this in a molecular separator to capture the essence of tapas-ingested-by-dog, mix it with an alcohol base, and sell it as a bottled perfume to be worn by tapas waitresses.Or, stick all the plates in the freezer, come back after closing time, and throw the frozen tapas through the plate-glass window of the tapas bar. In the morning there will be tapas everywhere, but no sign of what broke the window.There is so much to do with tapas provided you're not a girly man who just sits there nibbling daintily...