I have decided to keep a daily chronicle consisting of what I did, what were my major thoughts and motivations behind actions and other important things of the day. I think it would help people understand how people under brain control have to pass their time with great difficulty and how they cope with it.
I would not take anybody's name in these chronicles.
Though I still think I am a bit more lucky among brain control targets to be able to do organized activity because mind control agents are mostly able to re-wire the brains of most targets something that deeply influences their behavior in a very negative way. Brain control agents try to affect the ways in which targets communicate with rest of the community around in a very negative way. This has also happened to me at times but in a very limited fashion. I would like to tell the friends that throughout my school and later in university life I was one of the nicest guy around. For example in my high school, I would be someone who would remain reserved, was not extremely good at sports and did very good at my studies and everyone would be nice to me as well. This respect with which I treated everyone and also the pattern that everybody would also reciprocate by being nice continued during the university life. However, some very few times I have used expletives and foul language in my "conversation with brain control agents" and I know I would never use such a language with anyone and I know they were trying to wire my brain in a negative way. I have however kept enough of my brain outside of their control to be able to shudder at myself how negative I was with the result that I would not repeat such things again. I still believe that I have not been disrespectful to anyone who ever came across me with possibly one notable exception when I was a student in United States and I was already half year through my mind control persecution when I was mildly disrespectful to a professor and interestingly I never used a foul language again with one notable exception on this forum when I talked about someone who motivated my persecution. I think both exceptions relate to the same person. Though at this stage in my life, I have absolutely no hard feelings. I just thing it was meant to be this way and I should try to have a better future for myself and any others I can. All other exceptions of losing calm are in my conversation with mind control agents and not with any humans around me. Sorry, but I strayed away from the point and what I was trying to say is that mostly I would be very nice to everyone but I know that there are times when people could lose their sanity and use poor and bad conversation and this can be triggered quite often in some target people especially when significant parts of their brain get known to mind control agents. If you are wise, you must never judge a person they behave when they are on brain control chemicals and when they are under active brain control effort especially if you know about it. I strongly believe that this re-wiring of the brains of target people is not permanent and that is one reason that many brain control targets have to be kept in active control by mind control agents and once these mind control agents leave their target , the natural behavior of the targets would emerge again. On some mind control forums, when I sometimes see poor writings with expletives, I know these people have been actively rewired by mind control agents with great success. To cut the story short, I consider myself relatively lucky as compared to other mind control targets so as to pass through a lot of mind control experiences and still be able to rationally reflect at the 'cause and effect' of what was happening and analytically understand it. And I think it would be interesting to share it with several friends.
Ok, I got up at eleven, checked my email and decided to go out for a drive after having a glass of fresh orange and carrot juice. For the drive, I decided to take Islamabad Expressway. On the way, I also took a can of sugar-free 'monster' energy drink. Later, I had a zinger burger from a Rahat Bakery in outskirts of Rawalpindi. I kept on thinking what I should do to get out of this negative patch in my life especially when American agencies are cutting all my sources of income by forcing various parties I come across to not do any business with my firm. As I know myself, I am not money-centric but I would still want to have a comfortable life free from all these problems forced on me. I kept having all sort of vague thoughts that I would write on Wilmott appealing to so many learned professors in good universities that I would love to do PhD with them and even continue as post-doc only if they could possibly help me get my freedom. Later I just dismissed these ideas thinking nobody on Wilmott ever writes any such thing on my blog. I know every one there knows about reality of my persecution but they are so all used to remaining quiet. Some lines of thoughts continued that may be I should try to approach someone for a job mentioning I am doing research on algorithmic trading on a few seconds to minutes scale with my own interesting ideas about intelligently switching between mean-reversion strategies and when to follow trend or momentum strategies. I continued my thoughts thinking that may be I should just do a PhD and sell some interesting programs to some money manager in the mean time for some decent money. All along I continued to propose and dispose my thoughts on similar lines. I then made the resolve that it is most important for me to write on my blog on a daily basis and as long as I would continue to get misunderstood, my misery would certainly continue.
[color=#303030]After about three and a half hour I came back home in Islamabad.[/color]
Using an electric shaver, I cut my hair. I always like short hair. Ok, this is very interesting when somebody is on mind control, they should keep their hair and nails as short as possible. I get immense relief and feel especially upbeat when I cut my hair. May be that is one reason that I have been able to write a relatively long post. I later talked to my sister on phone who had gone to Lahore yesterday and whom with I am living these days. I had cut my hair and after calling her I felt that I loved my family despite so many bad things like forced drugging they had done to me. I continued to think why they did it? May be because my father who had worked all his life in a small town was so shocked and was in a sheer disbelief when American agencies approached him. In most of these places, it is considered sheer luck just to be able to get into America and when somebody is told that he could be given anything he liked after it, he would probably lose most of his sanity. I then told myself that it does not matter I just want to love him but I would still want to live independently and be able to make my decisions independently. I then recalled an indian song that says "Be careful lest you lose goodness and good manners." For Indians and Pakistanis, the song is "Jo rah chuni to nay" and the words I like the most are "Dekh kahin dheeraj chooth na jai" I interpret these lines that you have to be very careful all along your life in following good manners and there will be times when you would stumble but you have to be very careful about what you are doing. When brain control agents try to wire me into a bad mood, I would simply laugh and tell them that extremely beautiful women are ready to be taken by them.
Ok, I am tired of writing and I will continue the chronicle tomorrow.