Here are my notes for past two days if they are not altered when I post them.
7th of July 2018
I was taken from home by three people a little earlier than 7:00 AM. My mother told me that she wanted me to see Dr. N which was the psychiatrist already treating me. But I was taken to a different clinic in ****** clinic. They allowed me to keep my computer but took my internet USB device so that I could not write on internet. I had been told again and again by hospital staff and people who brought me to the hospital that Dr. N would see me but it seemed that they just wanted to lie and took me to clinic of a different doctor.
I also decided that I must talk to as many people as I can about my ***pers and similar treatment of other people after I could be able to walk out of this hospital. I had been fearing that my parents would detain me or put me on drugs if I ever tried that but they are never going to be sincere and they would eventually always do that. Before I start anything else after leaving, I must tell everyone in the society including influential people about these methods of pers*** of intelligent people. If somebody at home really asks too much just tell them that I am visiting people about making a company for
business. And do tell people that my parents force me to see a psychiatrist of their choice because every psychiatrist
cannot be easily manipulated.
There are really a lot of good people in the world everywhere. If you have not been able to get freedom, it is because you did not effectively convey your message to other good people otherwise they must have done something to help you and many other people from the state of . Try to effectively spread your message everywhere but please emphasize on talking about it in your own country. This setback might be good for you to really understand your priorities that you properly failed to understand earlier. It is most important to talk to every good person who can be of help and tell them about horrors of (****) torture. It is more important to do that than totally concentrating on your research again. Your first priority must be to get freedom and tell people about (*****).
There is dirty state, broken doors and dirty bedsheets in the hospital. Airconditioning windows open.
I talked to a psychologist after 9:45. She was very nice and polite. And we talked for more than forty minutes.
I told her that I absolutely never get upset with anyone and have food from home once in a while. We talked about Politics in Pakistan including Nawaz Sharif, and Imran Khan. She told me how Imran Khan wanted to improve education and health. We also talked about cancer and I told her about my aunt's cancer story. And we also discussed how good old Indian music was and that I absolutely love it and the psychologist told me that she also like old Indian music.
But on the subject that I must not be detained, psychologist was ambivalent and despite all my logic, it seemed that she was not willing to make an assessment that I must not be detained and it seemed that they had already planned to detain me for at least a few days. She was also not willing to make a decision that my USB would be returned to me.
I also talked about my business engagements.
I also talked with psychiatrist about FX issues and rising inflation and how we can improve it with switiching to renewable energy. I also talked about implications of global warming and effect of melting of glaciers on our economy and agriculture.
She asked me for breakfast and I had a lot of breakfast after the meeting with the psychologist. Two parathas and Omelete and I asked for more omelete after eating some of the breakfast.
[I am writing about it later 1:36PM July 8 when I recalled what I had missed] Psychologist also talked some people do not have insight about heir condition and it
takes time to develop insight. I mentioned that I do understand all reasoning and logic as you can understand from my talk and then she replied that yes we would explain everything with reasoning and logic.
[Written yesterday as notes to brainstorm]
all possible Writers in all newspapers. All possible politicians. Any possible academics. distinguished people in different professions. Ask all embassies to show goodwill for pakistani people. players in cricket and other games. Doctors, professors. Many of them will refuse to hear anything and there will all sort of possible ugly treatment but please do not stop. Many will hear and hopefully the message will be spread and there will be more awareness. Talk to judges if you can in court or in some informal setting.
Continue for at least 4-6 months or more.
Dr. O visited for ten minutes at 2:10 PM. He asked me about antipsychotic drugs I was previously taking. He was not ready to ask me about my condition. When I asked him that he was not asking me about my condition or symptoms, he simply said that he wanted to ask that next. He very briefly asked about my condition. And when he was leaving after five minutes, I said that you have detained me here and you are not even ready to give me more than five minutes
and then he sat again and gave me another five minutes to make a total of ten minutes. He said that he wanted wanted blood tests for WBC count to give me clozapine. I told him that I do not want to take clozapine at all. I told him about previous doctor who had insisted that my mother to never give me clozapine since it was to be given to seriously sick patients.
Doctor said that he wanted to detain me for a few days for ECG. When I asked him that it was not appropriate to detain me for ECG. He said that he was the psychiatrist and he knew better what to do and I must not argue with him. And whenever I asked him that I can provide more information about my activities and
other things, he would say that we would sit together after a few days and discuss all these things. He also said that he would discuss some things after seeing some other patients. I also continued to ask him to make a decision about discharging/detaining me but he would say that it was not time to make
that decision. But later after an hour hospital staff told me that Dr. O has left the hospital and now he could possibly see me on Monday at the earliest.
After you leave, in case there are problems in your thinking, systematically do things that you have liked to do in the past. You will have to brainstorm about it.
At 7:30, dispenser at the clinic took my blood samples as doctor had suggested. Doctor probably wants to give clozapine and that is why he needs my blood tests. According to laws, there should be a qualified MBBS doctor at mental health facility at night but there is only a dispenser in this facility at night.
Try to see if you can do a case in court asking that you want to be treated by a psychiatrist of your choice. And your parents have made it a simple practice again and again to lift you from home whenever they want and detain you.
Also ask your father to return the money you lent him ten years ago (55000 dollars) that he promised to return in a year. I have no interest in anything he will give me (bequeth me as he has given to others) but I do want him to give my money back.
Do not do any special activity that you like or enjoy while you are in detention. Do not do any Math or research related activity. Get into stealth mode. Swimming, cycling, running and so many other things(that I could do later somewhere where mind control is not strong). Make a list and do only at appropriate time.
There are all kinds of poetry and comments written on the broken yellow door of my room by different patients who lived here. I copy this one comment here for friends,"Love is like ice cream, suck it b4 it melts."
And they installed an AC in the open AC window but did not care to clean the AC. It has smell coming out of it and there is a huge amount of dust on its vanes that the staff did not care to clean.
Sunday July 8, 2018
A little after 10 AM on 8th of July, staff told me that I have to go out with them to a different hospital for ECG. Mr. S who is also probably incharge of the hospital took me to ****** teaching hospital with two other hospital staff in his jeep. S was a very nice and decent guy and I talked to him about The foreign company for which I was doing risk managmement project and told him about the banks where the directors of the risk managment consulting company had been working. I also told him about the places and universities in US where I had been studying. He asked me about swimming and I told him that I did wind-surfing
in Lake Michigan when I was at Northwestern University.( During summer quarter of my junior year, I joined a wind surfing course and then we did wind surfing on specified times when there would be instructors to help us in case of any negative possibility. And I was also rescued once by instructors when my sail fell into the water quite far away from the shore.)
I also asked him that I would need to remain in touch with the client risk management company since I had done almost all of the assignment but I needed an internet session with them to help them understand the working of the program. S assured that he would ceratainly make sure that I remain in touch with the client company and would help me do that. And then we had an ECG for a minute at the hospital. They male nurse who did ECG did not know where to put the plastic buttons on the body after putting the get and commented "I have learnt everything from Sir and this is the only thing I have not learnt properly." And
another nurse told him where to out the buttons and then he took the ECG reading and it was done in a minute. And I had earlier had ECG twice and it took the doctor at least ten minutes to check everything but I am certainly not aware of the technicalities of the procedure. May be the other doctor was checking something else as well.
After the ECG, Shahid asked me if I wanted to have a breakfast outside somewhere. And we decided to have hulwa puri. We went to a street restaurant known for its good hulwa puri and we ate a lot of puris(ten puris) together.
[Added later 1:38 PM 8th July] I mentioned that most of the psychiatrist patients that come before psychiatrists are very uninformed and uneducated and therefore psychiatrists do not discuss anything in their decision-making with their clients and it has becoem a norm and standard pracrice to never discuss anything with the clients (and some psychiatrists even become upset when clients ask them to discuss things with them).
And then we came back to the hospital. And the dispenser gave me another 2mg Resperidone in the morning.
12:59 I had previously asked the dispenser to forward my request to S about letting me use internet to email my client consulting company. Just now when I saw dispenser and asked him about the response of Mr. S, and the dispenser replied that Mr. S has refused to let you use internet now and it could possibly be done tomorrow under the supervision of the psychologist.
1:08: This is about the thought I just had that I wanted to write about AC. I kept my AC working all night and it was not smelling. May be they had changed or discontinued some device in AC that was causing smell after I had written about the smell in my journal yesterday. But When I turned on the AC at night later, it was hot and I was thinking that I would use it for a little bit but it did seem fine and then I just kept it on. Anyway, my night was better and I had a decent sleep.
1:31 Here notes about what to mention when presenting your case before others.
1. Mention all incidents of criminal psychiatry by different psychiatrists. Make detailed notes about it.
Along with others tell Abdalians about your (****) in detail. In a written form, compose all things that have happened in the past and tell Abdalians that we can absolutely do anything in our country. Tell them about your work with upfront. on stochastics, on state-space, and all describe possiblities that can happen with examples and ask for support.
3:19 Study whether there is any role of stochastics in DNA and protein interaction and protein mutations and if somehow stochstics could be applied to this huge area of extreme applied interest. First find out with an initial exploratory survey. What are the dynamics and determinants that lead to certain DNA structure leading to specific sets of proteins strucutures and many other related things.
[8/7/2018 4:21 PM] Bed was interesting. (******). I felt out of ener after lying on it in the noon and after it. Make notes what to tell people. Write your resume. Your achievements. Torture on you. About psychiatrists who did torture. (****) techniques and methods. About neurotransmitters. resonance of EM waves on Molecular weights of neurotransmitters. ionizations. potential. Reasons and objectives of (). Role of money. Invite them to make money and then try to end it.
[8/7/2018 5:44 PM] how you were forced to go back twice to live with your family when you went to karachi(It happened two times). How your family refused to let you see a psychiatrist of your choice. How they insisted that I do not follow the advice of a psychiatrist and instead forced me to follow advice of an MBBS doctor and otherwise threatened to detain me. The tongue incident.
[8/7/2018 4:21 PM] I have difficulty standing and feel pain in my back after lying on the bed.
[8/7/2018 5:05 PM] I got a painkiller a few minutes earlier from the dispenser. He gave me ponston forte. I thought of painkillers, anti-allergy, anxiolyitics, and stimulants. They all move the brain so if brain has become totally static under control, try something and see how it goes.
Make a list of all possible stimulants.
[8/7/2018 6:32 PM] Doctor was already sure before he had a meeting with me that he wanted to keep me detained. And this was also psychologist's impression though nothing about her being a good lady otherwise since she would be very good and reasonable but when I would speak about leaving from detention, she would be slightly nervous(may be nerous is a very wrong word but she would try to say something to justify the detention.)
[8/7/2018 7:08 PM] A few minutes ago my sister from Islamabad called and she told me that other name of Dr.N (The good doctor) I visited for advice two weeks ago is hospitalization. I told her that I was ready to take medication but there was no point in keeping me detained. I repeated this point again and again
but she was not being responsive to it. She said you had a relapse but I asked her that she was happy only two weeks ago but now she was calling it a relapse. She told me that I did not want to see the
psychiatrist in Rawalpinid but then I also mentioned that I was willing to see
the psychiatrist in Rawalpindi two months ago and I had even taken a blood test for that
but she was the one who insisted that we would see that psychiatrist later and then a whole month
passed after she said that I should visit the psychiatrist. I also said to my sister that I did not
want to take clozapine at all and would take some other drug but not clozapine because my body aches
because of it.