I had promised friends that I would tell them in detail what happened when I was in detention. But I have so little energy and drive that it is very hard to get myself to sit down and write everything and I have been delaying it. After returning from detention, I have all my meals at home and, obviously, many times there have enough mind control chemicals in food and I remain lethargic and unable to do something significant. I was afraid that my parents might detain me again after coming out of detention and I started eating at home. SO it was hard to sit down decisively to write all the things that happened. But I have to go to see the doctor in Ham** Lat** Hospital on coming thursday and I am also feeling a bit fresh as I just woke up from sleep so I decided to write about my time in detention.
I was taken by four staff of a psychiatric facility that is established in a farmhouse in Burki. Psychiatrist there would see the patients only once in a week and the patients would mostly come across a psychologist who would talk to patients almost everyday for six days so I was also telling everything to the psychologist. In the second week of my detention, I talked to the psychiatrist and asked him for a detailed written diagnosis of my "schizophrenia", about my drugs regimen in the future and when they would discharge me and the psychiatrist told me that my questions would be answered in 24-48 hours. Of course, I could not speak to the psychiatrist after that for a long time. And the psychologist next day told me that she would prepare the detailed written diagnosis and have it signed by the psychiatrist. But after another two days, she told me that they could not write a detailed written diagnosis as they do not do it for individual patients as they have a lot of patients and my request was refused. I was told that I was kept in detention since my medicine had to be altered and I had to be kept in observation during that time but they continued to give me 4 mg Risp for first 14 days and did not alter anything. They really wanted to give me 100 mg clozapine but I refused to take that tablet after I took it for one night two days into the detention since when I woke up in the mid of the night to go to washroom, I was hitting the walls and doors and I was losing balance since that tablet always came from a source that had added mind control chemicals in it. I had written about it previously somewhere and I copy it here. I shared this in post 768 and I copy that post about the effects of mind control chemicals in Clozapine.
I am writing this post since there are some things I want to share with people. The purpose, again, is to request American friends to be kind with me. I know very well when I tell good people about my bad experiences, many of them would surely be very sympathetic and understanding. Please help me get relief from the following problem.
I had told friends that I had not bee taking Clozapine 300 mg for several weeks. My sister gives me drug tablets at night. Ususally it is about 1:30 AM when I take the tablets. But yesterday, she insisted that I take the tablets at 12:00. And she was being very suspicious and I had to take a Clozapine tablet other than 3mg Resperidone that I always take. I did not make a very big deal about it. But fifteen minutes after taking the drug I felt extremely drowsy. I wanted to do more work and post my program on technical forum after a few very minor changes but I realized that I would not be able to do anything right and there would surely be mistakes. It was somewhat around 12:30 When I felt too drowsy, and I decided to sleep. This was a pity that I was feeling extremely drowsy but I was not being able to sleep. For more than two hours, I tried to sleep but I could not sleep despite that I was extremely drowsy. There were also very different feelings of restlessness in my arms and legs. When I could not sleep, I tried to go out of my room for a little bit and I was horrified to know that I Was walking in slow motion and I could hardly maintain my balance and I had no coherence in my walk. I thought that may be I should post on Wilmott and tell people about it but I realized that I would not be able to write anything at all. I came back to my room after a few minutes and tried to sleep again and I slept around one hour after I went out of my room. During all of this, I continued to beg the brain control agents to simply let me sleep but they never cared. Then after a few hours of sleep there was extreme heartburn in my belly. I still recall when I used to take this medicine earlier, I used to have very severe heartburn and I would have to take 6-8 tablets of trisill which is a heartburn medication. When I took just one tablet of Clozapine at night, the heartburn also started again. Then around morning, I vomited. I had not done any over-eating and I am very sure, the vomit was also due to drugs they put in the tablets. I woke up around 12:30 today.
I would beg Americans and other good people to not add mind control chemicals in the drugs I take. I was feeling extremely helpless last night and I do not want to have a repeat of these experiences. I cannot share my suffering with my family because they never had any special feelings for the torture I faced. I would request people again to please do not add mind control substances in the tablets I take.
I want to request friends to please do not add mind control drugs to my medicine. It is a torture to live with antipsychotics but the torture doubles when they add mind control drugs in the antipsychotics. I was feeling so helpless at night and wanted to write about my experience at night but I could not have written anything with coherence. I am sure many people would be kind towards me when they would know about my suffering. Please do something for me to get some relief from this everyday torture. If you could be kind towards me, I would always be indebted and thankful. I would ask people for their kindness and their empathy for me in difficult times. Please save me from such torture in the future.
After the third night in detention when I was given clozapine for the first time, I refused to take 100 mg clozapine. This tablet comes from a special source and you cannot buy it off the shelf from various shops so it is convenient to drug it with mind control chemicals since agents do not have to run around making sure that target would get the drugged tablets and then since the drug is bought from a special source, they are also willing to add special chemicals that they would not otherwise add in the entire supply of the manufactured drugs since those chemicals would be unsafe for general public. When I refused to take Clozapine, I was told that I would be given injections otherwise. I protested that 100 mg clozapine is not that huge otherwise and they could prescribe some alternative oral tablet but the doctor insisted on giving me injections. They wanted to give me clozapine injection but I was already getting that injection and I used to sleep way too much and remain extremely drowsy for more than 20 days when I was given that injection after 30 days. They had also distributed mind control drugged version of clozapine in the entire LAhore city region and I wanted to avoid that. So I requested that I could be given fluanxthol injection to which doctor agreed and told that I would be given fluanxthol injection after every fifteen days. When they gave me injections earlier, they had shifted to giving me injections after every 30 days but had given me a few doses after every fifteen days to build concentration so I still do not know whether they would continue to give me injections after every fifteen days or later shift to thirty days and I would ask the doctor about it on thursday and tell friends what he says.
The psychologist continued to tell me that I had a twenty years long history of disease and if various doctors had given me bad medicine, I would not be there in front of her talking sense and the reason behind I was talking sense was that I was given a very good treatment of schizophrenia by every psychiatrist and that was the reason that I seemed normal. She also said that I seemed normal since I was taking medicine and if I were not taking medicine, I would not be normal at all. She cited just one or two reasons behind schizophrenia that I was not social and I avoided eating my mother's food all the time.
And there was gas and special gadgets in the bathrooms and the toilets in the psychiatric facility. In fact there were about two dozen staff in the hospital that were mostly boys between 18 and 23 years of age. If somebody could offer some of the boys a few thousand dollars (1500-3000 dollars), they would blurt everything about when the gadgets were installed in the washrooms and toilets.
And water was good at the hospital when I went there. But after two weeks, they started adding mind control chemicals in water and I would have very severe anxiety after I would drink water but I survived a few days on very little water and then it was (only) slightly better again.
Another thing I want to request people is to force mind control agencies to not drug the fluanxthol injection that I would buy on thursday and let me have a normal simple injection and not arrange any special injections for me.