QuoteOriginally posted by: JamesBroker to James: "The smart money is going long on this."James To Broker: "That is of course, smarter money than me, right?"Broker to James: <silence>James to Broker: "Okay, I'm going short."I have similar one:Broker: You have to be long of this, it has been rated a strong buy by us and everybody is piling into it.K: Really!!Broker: Yes! Yes! Its a great buy and you have to be long of thisK: If its that good a buy would you take some off me for your prop book??Broker: Errr………. Hm……… K: Later <Click>

Some Head of Equities: "From now on, all I'll do is look at 20 year charts. Everything else just doesn't make sense."Head of Bond Trading: "Allright, I'm excited about this skiing trip/conference later this month. You're coming right. I'm looking forward to going skiing with you."Sales dude at a Canadian Bank (starts with a T): "Sorry dude, I can't go with you on that skiing trip/conference in Switzerland. My boss says I have to sell 500 million of this XYZ bond before I can go anywhere."Head of Bond Trading: "Hm."Sales dude at a Canadian Bank (starts with a T): "Yeah, really sorry."Head of Bond Trading: "You know what. We'll buy 'em."Sales dude at a Canadian Bank (starts with a T): "How many?"Sales dude at a Canadian Bank (starts with a T): "All of them. I want to go skiing with you."I shit you not, that really happened.

Trader to trainee: then you put you John Hancock there and fax the amendment to the back office.10 MINUTES LATERBack office to trader: whose this new guy, "John Hancock"?